Fairbanks' for a Weekend
by dontbreathetoodeep
Summary: Dana's Mom and Dad, Sharon and Irwin, come to visit West Hollywood to be with their daughter. The one thing that they aren't so keen on is the company she keeps.
1. Chapter 1

**Introduction/Chapter 1**

"Alice?" Dana yelled from the bedroom into the living room where Alice was typing away in front of her computer.

"Shit," Alice said under her breath, "what've I done now?" She walked into the bedroom and said, "Yes honey?"

"Al, my parents are coming over, I know you presume they won't be in here but they're nosey, and, well, they will."

"In my bedroom?" Alice questioned, trying to stifle a laugh.

"Well, our bedroom. But yes, this bedroom in your apartment."

"Honey, they're only staying here for three days," she said, walking towards her, "try to relax a little."

"Al, they will find a reason to be in here, you'll see." Alice kissed Dana lightly on the lips, "please, baby, just tidy up this stuff."

"Stuff?" Alice giggled, "don't talk about your dick case like that."

"Oh shut up."

"And why do I have to be the one to do it? Ey?"

"Well, I'll take care of that if you just, I don't know, clean up your magazines and clothes and stuff and oh my god, that was supposed to be handed in yesterday, why didn't you do it?"

"Babe, I did have more than one copy. Please, calm down, everything will be ok." Alice kissed Dana again, "besides I've made one Fairbanks fall in love with me, who's to say I can't get them two to like me too?"

"Ok, ok. Just tidy. I'll ring and see if they've landed in LA yet."

"You do that, baby. I'll just play with your dick alone."

"You're impossible."

"You love it."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Alice and Dana pulled up at Burbank Airport where Dana was still stressing out.

"Are you sure you turned your straighteners off? What if we take my parents back to a burned down apartment? Then what would they think, Al. They'd think I was in some sort of danger."

"Oh my god, Dana. You watched me turn them off and then _you _put them away. Stop being an idiot and calm down." Alice turned the key to turn off the engine, grabbed her bag and opened the door; the hot feel of Hollywood today hit her straight on in the face.

"Al, these are my parents, and I haven't seen them in a year. Please."

"I'm sorry, Dana. Come on, it'll be OK." Alice tried to hold Dana's hand but she pulled away, a bit too forcefully.

"Sorry, slow small steps for the homophobic parents." Dana could tell she'd hit a nerve with Alice so reassured her, "I love you."

"I love you too, come on."

"Alice, how nice of you to pick us up in that small car of yours." Sharon Fairbanks said to Alice a few minutes after their arrival. Sensing a sarcastic tone to the lady's voice, Alice replied,

"Well, it was the least I could do for you and Dana, Mrs Fairbanks."

"Well, we appreciate it, don't we darling?" chimed in Dana's dad, Irwin Fairbanks.

"Of course but my legs don't appreciate the cramp." responded Sharon with a laugh to send a shiver down Alice's spine.

"Please, Mom-"

"I know, Dana. I'm sorry. Two flights too many; I'll be fine when I get to sit down."

"Well we're almost there, Mrs Fairbanks." cheered Alice, trying the brighten the mood.

"Glad to hear, so do you two live together then?" Sharon tried to make that sound as nice as possible but it still came across in a disapproving tone.

"Uhm, no not yet-" Alice tried to cover up.

"Well, we don't really live together but my apartment is for sale; I'm going to be moving in with Alice." Dana butted in, trying to not spite her mother but just to show her that she's totally OK with talking about it with her.

"Oh, and why isn't Alice moving in with you?" Sharon responded.

"She has a house, so you know, that'd be better for the two of us. Plus we spend most of our time there anyway, and most of my stuff is there; that's why you'll be staying there this weekend."

"Yeah, we have the bedroom set up for you two." Alice grinned into the mirror above her to meet the eyes of Sharon Fairbanks.

"So we're going to be in... _your_ bed?" Irwin started to seem concerned.

"No!" both Alice and Dana said together, "No," Alice said again, "I have the guest bedroom set up for you, I thought that would be more appropriate."

"As long as it has a bed and a wardrobe, I really don't care." said Sharon, trying her best to avoid all the arguments that usually came with a visit to West Hollywood.

"That it has, and here we are." Alice said, pulling her blue Mini onto the drive outside her house.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"It really is a wonderful place you've got here Alice, how long have you been here?" Irwin asked politely, admiring the quaint and risqué art Alice had on the wall.

"It'll be a year in July, but I had my eye on this place for ages before I bought it. It was funny because I spotted it before my website really took off-"

"Oh you have a website?" Sharon interjected, "what kind of website is it?" Dana quickly looked at Alice in a panic; she wasn't sure how her mother would take the fact that her partner ran a lesbian social networking site.

"Oh, it's called 'The Chart', it's a social networking site."

"Ahh, I don't have much time for those, they're too complicated and a waste of time in my opinion."

'Saved' thought Dana, and Sharon continued, "So you say it 'took off'? What do you mean by that?"

"Well, our friend, Papi, invited people to join our site by email; she has a lot of friends. Then those friends invited their friends and we were getting thousands of hits a day. It was really an overnight thing. But to cut a long story short, I mean, we got a lot of investors and managed to get quite a lot of money from it and so, I bought the house."

"And the car?" Irwin asked.

"Oh, no, I had the car when I was working a lot as a journalist."

"Don't you still work, Alice?" Sharon sounded concerned.

"Oh yes! I work a lot, but a lot of my time is dedicated to 'The Chart'." Alice explained, trying her best to convince the pair that Dana really was alright with her.

"I see." Sharon seemed cool and calm with it all as she asked, "so Dana, got any matches coming up any time soon? You haven't been doing a lot."

"Oh no, there hasn't been a lot going on but there is a tournament next month that I'm training for. There is a lot of money in this one."

"Does that mean we won't be seeing a lot of you these three days?" Sharon felt let down, but happy that her daughter was doing something.

"Oh no no no, I'm just got a run a day planned, don't worry."

"Ahh good," chimed in Irwin, still admiring the pictures on the walls of Alice's living room. One had struck him but he wasn't sure why. There was a woman, no surprise there, but she was facing away from the room. She was on a bed, he thought, and had a quilt wrapped over her legs and around the very bottom of her back. The rest of her was naked, but there was nothing pornographic about the painting. On the woman's shoulder was a tattoo and on it said 'de vivre, d'aimer, de créer...'. "Alice?"

"Yes, Irwin?" she turned on her heel to see the man analyzing the painting she bought with Bette when she was 25.

"What does that mean?" and he pointed to the shoulder of the woman, "de vivre, d'aimer, de créer?"

"It means, 'to live, to love, to create'. It was funny because it was something I lived by when I was in college and then 2 years after leaving, I was at an art showing with our friend Bette and we found that. I knew what it meant and knew I had to have it. It was also a plus that Bette, who is a art manic by the way, liked it, and approved."

"It's a great piece of work."

"Oh Irwin, come off it, you know nothing about art." said Sharon, needless to say she 'wore the pants' in that family.

"And that shows how good it is, if a nobody like me can like it, then it must be alright, yeah?"

"Sure, Irwin. I'm glad you like it." said Alice. Now, Dana, who had kept remarkebly quiet through that whole conversation started to relax after her father had liked one of the things she thought he'd hate.

"So Dad, should I show you and Mom to your room?" Dana asked brightly.

"I'm sure we can find it if you can tell us which one it is." Sharon kept her demanding manner even when she felt most comfortable, and it was safe to say she didn't really feel particularly comfortable in this whole scenario.

"Sure, it's the second room on the right, upstairs. So you have the toilet then-"

"Yes Dana, then you have two room and the second one is ours. Ok." Irwin picked up the luggage and let his wife lead the way up the stairs.

"Well, that was intense." Dana said to Alice when she was sure her parents were out of ear shot.

"Nah, I'm sure it was ok. I'm glad he liked the painting."

"Oh yes, I am delighted."

"Oh shush baby, it's going to be ok," Alice pulled Dana closer to her and kissed her on the lips lightly. "you need to learn to relax a little."

"Yes, she does." Irwin said from the bottom step, "Don't worry Dana, we know you're happy here. And it really is a nice place, Alice."

"Thanks Irwin." Dana tried to push Alice away but she wouldn't let her as she wriggled her arm around her waist. Irwin laughed politely at his daughter's awkwardness and waited for his wife to come down the stairs.


End file.
